Twists and Turns Foster Resiliency

Life takes many twists and turns, and sometimes it feels like you’re a human bumper car slamming into walls, bouncing off of walls, holding onto walls and taking what I call wall-naps when you just need to stop and pause, head resting on a wall. One of the more subtle twists and turns life takes, if you are fortunate to basically have good health, is the aging process. During the past five or so years I have gone from occasionally observing the aging process to becoming an active participant. 

One of the most difficult aspects of becoming an active participant in the aging process is that friends and family get sick and die. During the past five years my husband died after a nine month illness with lung cancer. We both lost that battle. I have also had to accept, because what other choice do I have, the deaths of several very close friends who were my “chosen family.” One died in a car accident, one died suddenly of a heart attack, one died of lung cancer like my husband: all of their deaths have monumentally changed my life. Others in my community of friends have had to say goodbye to spouses they shared decades with, raising families and supporting each other during those bumper car twists and turns. We friends of deceased friends have suffered too, for our grieving friends, and because of our own grief.

Aging is not for the weak and there is no preparation class for navigating the changes we fortunate people who get to grow old experience. One thing about aging is that it builds resiliency, if you choose not to succumb to it and somehow find the inner strength to not only survive but thrive.  Thriving looks different for each person but in most cases I have observed a paring down of non-essentials both materially and mentally. I think carrying less baggage helps to navigate your bumper car more easily.

Aging as is said, is a privilege denied to many. I hope you can embrace the privilege to create an ongoing life filled with everything that brings you happiness. Let go of people and things that do not enhance your happiness. As I wrote in the beginning of this new year, ask yourself at every turn, “Does this promote or demote my peace?” Your answer will be the clarity you need in all situations. Think of this question as your protective gear to help fortify resilience as you navigate the varied twists and turns of aging.