Holidays Are Heartbeats

Among the greatest challenges to resiliency are holidays. Like an uninvited visitor, holidays arrive at your doorstep, bang incessantly at your door to come in, and then expect you to entertain them with food and frivolity. If you’re like me, the perpetuality of holidays makes you feel like you’d rather stay in pajamas, watch mind-less television and eat potato chips. But holidays are hard to escape in a culture where holidays are like heartbeats, constant!

 

When your life changes, holidays change too. You may have new birthdays to celebrate, new anniversaries to toast and new ways of sharing traditional holidays like Thanksgiving or Christmas. Usually these “new” holidays are times to break away from everyday life to share fun experiences with people you love. These are times when special memories are created.

 

Sadly, there comes a time in each of our lives when all we have left of happy holidays shared with loved ones are the memories. When someone you loved dies, holidays can be particularly painful markers of their absence. While you are happy that friends and family go on with their celebrations as they should, your life is completely changed forever. The rain just keeps pouring down upon you, so how do you brave the storm?

 

Here are some A-list resiliency tips I use in my life that I hope help you too:

 

Accept!

Accept that holidays are hard without your loved one realizing you cannot change that reality. It is okay to feel pain. Feel the pain and release it as you are able.

 

Attitude!

Attitude positivity can shift your mood from grief to gratitude. Think of how fortunate you were to have experienced a great love in your life that many never experience. Try to focus on your good fortune.

 

Attention!

Attention to your own self-care is important all of the time but even more so during the holidays. Treat yourself as often as possible with indulgences like extra rest, dinner with a friend, a gift, or whatever makes you feel cozy and joyful.

 

Amend!

Amend old holiday traditions with new holiday traditions. If you always open Christmas presents on Christmas eve maybe open them on Christmas morning accompanied by a giant home cooked breakfast. Instead of going out on New Year’s Eve why not have an at-home pajama party with your dog and watch movies. From little to large changes, starting new traditions can be helpful.

 

Alight:

Alight into the future at your own pace. There will always be a calendar full of holidays, birthdays and anniversaries, so maybe come up with special ways to celebrate them when you are ready.

 

Much love on holidays and every days,

Linda Joy Walder