Getting Used To Something So Right

For some of us, because of factors in our past, and how we managed them, we are adept at figuring out strategies to survive, and even overcome. But let’s not mistake the ability to survive as resiliency. I had done that in the past.

Survival is a coping skill. When *”bad” things happen we learn how to deal with them. Some people have a lot of difficulties, not only situational but challenges intrinsically rooted in their being. They become accustomed to these difficulties, almost expecting them to happen; difficulties are natural to them, not occasional. Living in survival mode takes skills that often have positive results like success in career, extreme empathy and expanded creativity. But the downsides are equally profound. Those living in survival mode often have intense anxiety, abundant overthinking and significant self-doubt. Survival mode derives from viewing one’s existence as a constant battle to achieve worthiness. (If I successfully overcome the challenge maybe then I will feel worthy) Resiliency, on the other hand, derives from valuing yourself knowing that you are worthy. ( I will overcome the challenge because I am worthy of a good outcome) Both require individual strength but survival mode is coming from a deficit place about yourself while resilience is coming from a place of valuing yourself.

A resilient person does not expect “bad” things to happen to them, but when they happen they deal with them. A person in survival mode is always waiting for the next bomb to drop.

If we can shift our expectations about life by thinking we are worthy of *”good” things to happen, and not “unworthy” of them, then we will start to get used to the idea that “good” is the norm. When we feel worthy of “good” then we will deal with difficulties from a place of personal power (I am worthy) not survival ( If I get through this maybe then I will feel worthy).

The resilient person is accustomed to the idea of “something so right” and attracts “good” as a reflection of their own self-worth. The resilient person, unlike the survival mode person, does not expect that disappointments will be the norm, but knows that from time to time they will occur, and in those instances they will remove obstacles returning to “good” because they know they are worthy.

*”Bad” and “Good” are highly subjective adjectives that the individual will perceive uniquely. I use the words as a simple way to make the points herein.

Linda Joy Walder